Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He better not be in your backpack
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
