Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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