i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
