at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
