Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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