Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
wow bdsm is so cute
Pooping to opera.
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