seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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