please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i need some magic done to my vagina
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
