we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
