just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
