im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
