Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
