i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
please don't ironically join a cult
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