She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
