Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
