Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
