wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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