haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
