She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
