just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
