My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
