from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
