Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
