i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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