In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We have started to decorate penises.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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