Where is the hickey?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
