The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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