she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
