I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
