$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
