All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
