kristin has been a bad kristin
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize