I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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