Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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