Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
