well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
