im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
