U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
