i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
