i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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