90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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