the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
