You really coming over, don't trick.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
