i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
