I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
