i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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