Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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