So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
