Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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