FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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