My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
