If i come over, it means nothing
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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